Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

How do I find a luxury service apartment in Gurgaon?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What is your favourite colour and why?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

How many boxes 600 x 400 x 200 go into a 20ft container?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Have you ever followed through being bi-curious?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Was Michael Jackson really an innocent person?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Can a mother forget her child after she puts him or her up for adoption?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How do you deal with a neighbor stealing?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand how hurricane paths work

What do you think about a sister's love?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What are some dirty secrets of Indian (Bollywood, etc.) actors and actresses?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

If my boyfriend watches porn, does it mean he doesn’t think I’m good enough? If I am good enough, why does he still watch? Am I not beautiful enough?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can read

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I see through liars

I can count

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”